I've been reading my previous posts and I have to say I'm a big old negative Nancy. It's boring and uninteresting honestly. So hey, I'm gonna start posting now! Actually, some stuff has been happening lately. Let's talk about Korea.
Last weekend the World Cup started. Now, I'm not a particular fan of soccer, or really a particular fan of any sport, but I always love epic competitions. So yeah, I'll watch the Superbowl. I'll semi-follow the Stanley Cup. I'll catch a little bit of March Madness. And, of course, I'll watch some games during the World Cup.
This year is particularly crazy, mostly because I'm not in the States. It's almost foreign to me how much Americans don't care about soccer (er football, whatever). Wouldn't they be, at least a little? In my opinion, the World Cup is one of the most epic competitions there is (next to the Olympics). It's country pitted against country in a game that literally everyone and their grandma plays at least sometime in their lifetimes. It's the most natural venue through which a person can express their national pride, and I know for a fact that Americans don't lack any of that.
But I digress. At risk of sounding somewhat racist, Koreans are by nature pretty competitive when it comes to most things. So it was no surprise how intense things got around here once the game between Korea and Greece was on. I was walking through Seomyeon (the biggest district around here) doing some errands, and literally every Korean I saw on the street (or in a restaurant or bar) had their heads turned towards the TV. It was almost eerie how silent everything was.
So when Korea won 2-0, things got pretty out of hand. I ended up in the Kyungsung University area, and the streets were packed with drunk college kids celebrating. Literally the whole intersection was blocked off by Koreans singing and dancing. There was even some dude dancing on top of a moving bus (shirtless). It was, in a word, awesome. I've never seen so many Koreans go crazy before. Unfortunately it didn't last long; the police came by and ruined everyone's fun.
Later that night was the U.S. vs England game. That game was probably even more intense. I was stuck in a bar, shoulder to shoulder with about half Americans half English. And man were the English putting on a party. They had about 5 different songs that most knew by heart. There was facepaint, there was flags, there was of course lots of drinking. Americans were there to cheer as well, but I felt we just didn't have the intensity that the English had. All we could do was chant "U-S-A." No fancy songs or comradarie to really speak of. Which in retrospect makes me feel a bit disappointed. I wish Americans had more enthusiasm for a game that literally the rest of the world worships in one way or another. But it's not in our culture, I suppose (if we even really have a cohesive culture).
So yeah, the World Cup. I feel pretty lucky to be in another country for it, especially that game between the U.S. and England, a matchup which hasn't happened since the 50's. Lot's of friendly good fun with people from all over the world.
I think that's one genuinely good thing I'm going to take away from this country, when I look back upon it in retrospect. Just the loads of different people I've met from all over the world and the differing personalities that come along with it. It's enriching to have your eyes opened like that. You no longer rely on abstract stereotypes when viewing different nationalities; you have actual experiences that you can draw from.
I shall post more. Maintain positivity.
Wednesday, June 16, 2010
Wednesday, April 7, 2010
Whimsical
I'm posting on a whim.
I'm sitting in the teacher's room waiting on my next class. I do that a lot actually. Lot's of down time with this job since I basically teach only 3 kinds of lessons per week.
Sounds boring? It usually is. Korea's been interesting but a lot of it (typical for most ESL teachers) is just this. Sitting at my desk surfing the interwebs. Which is probably the thing I hate the most about this country: my job. Yeah, in general it's pretty entertaining to hang out with Korean high school students day-to-day. But it's the same shit, every day, over and over and over again.
HI BRIAN
I LOVE YOU
HANDSOME GUY
HELLO BRIAN
I used to be friendly about it. I used to say "Hello! How are you?" and shit like that. But when you hear these same greetings day in and day out, you get to a point where sometimes you don't even respond.
I suppose this is what celebrities have to deal with.
My job is pretty unsatisfying. I guess it has to do with the fact that roughly half my classes are not interested in being in school, much less learning English. But it's more than that, I guess. I don't think I'm cut out to be an educator. I cannot imagine doing this as some sort of career. Maybe if I taught something that was interesting, like some sort of science class. But then I remember my science classes in high school, especially chemistry with Mr. Hardin and how all he did all day was yell shit like GET TO WORK. I don't want to be like that. I don't want to yell at kids all day. It's tiring.
So I'm approaching the point of not caring. I basically have three to four more months of this job and I'm gone. For my after school class I'm showing the movie Iron Man. I wasn't given any sort of direction on what to teach (this is usually the case), so fuck it. LET'S WATCH IRON MAN KIDS.
Yesterday I got foot inserts. They're custom made to support my feet because apparently my arches collapse as a I walk. It explains a lot, I guess. The doctor took an x-ray of my pelvis last week, and apparently one side is 5 mm lower than the other. Which I guess is the reason my left leg will sometimes go numb (among other back problems).
The foot inserts seem to be working. I'm so fucking relieved. My back is feeling better already and I feel like I could start exercising in a few weeks. It has been literally 2 1/2 years since I've done anything active. I can't wait.
The weather is getting really nice. I feel like, maybe things will get better? Yes, they will, they have to.
These past 8 months (holy shit has it been 8 months?) have been really trying. This has been the hardest thing I've done in my life, which I think is part of the reason I stopped posting. Living in Korea, it's like living in Oz. Or taking acid. Or being stored in a glass jar. It's so fucking weird here sometimes. Actually, weird isn't the adjective. It's not weird anymore, because I'm used to it. It's normal. I'm even starting to automatically emulate little Korean mannerisms. I'll do that little "uhh" or "mmm" thing when I'm responding to someone. Or I'll reflexively nod/bow to older people. Holy shit. I'm becoming Korean.
But I'm not Korean. I get stared at everywhere. And the people who don't stare are usually the braver type who will scream HIII or HELLOOO to me on the street. HI STRANGER. Jesus. I know I'm white and tall and dress funny, but I'm also a person. Can I please feel normal, please? Pretty please? This is what I mean when I say I feel like I live in a glass jar. I'm under all kinds of scrutiny. I feel like the thinking goes: "Look at that waygook. What will he do next??" Like I'm some sort of endangered species. Which makes me feel all sorts of pressure, because I want to set a good example. I know there are plenty of foreigners who act like complete douches in this country. I want to be a counter-example. I also just want to be a good person. But that's hard to do when you're not allowed to feel normal.
Good rant, huh? There will probably be more.
I'm sitting in the teacher's room waiting on my next class. I do that a lot actually. Lot's of down time with this job since I basically teach only 3 kinds of lessons per week.
Sounds boring? It usually is. Korea's been interesting but a lot of it (typical for most ESL teachers) is just this. Sitting at my desk surfing the interwebs. Which is probably the thing I hate the most about this country: my job. Yeah, in general it's pretty entertaining to hang out with Korean high school students day-to-day. But it's the same shit, every day, over and over and over again.
HI BRIAN
I LOVE YOU
HANDSOME GUY
HELLO BRIAN
I used to be friendly about it. I used to say "Hello! How are you?" and shit like that. But when you hear these same greetings day in and day out, you get to a point where sometimes you don't even respond.
I suppose this is what celebrities have to deal with.
My job is pretty unsatisfying. I guess it has to do with the fact that roughly half my classes are not interested in being in school, much less learning English. But it's more than that, I guess. I don't think I'm cut out to be an educator. I cannot imagine doing this as some sort of career. Maybe if I taught something that was interesting, like some sort of science class. But then I remember my science classes in high school, especially chemistry with Mr. Hardin and how all he did all day was yell shit like GET TO WORK. I don't want to be like that. I don't want to yell at kids all day. It's tiring.
So I'm approaching the point of not caring. I basically have three to four more months of this job and I'm gone. For my after school class I'm showing the movie Iron Man. I wasn't given any sort of direction on what to teach (this is usually the case), so fuck it. LET'S WATCH IRON MAN KIDS.
Yesterday I got foot inserts. They're custom made to support my feet because apparently my arches collapse as a I walk. It explains a lot, I guess. The doctor took an x-ray of my pelvis last week, and apparently one side is 5 mm lower than the other. Which I guess is the reason my left leg will sometimes go numb (among other back problems).
The foot inserts seem to be working. I'm so fucking relieved. My back is feeling better already and I feel like I could start exercising in a few weeks. It has been literally 2 1/2 years since I've done anything active. I can't wait.
The weather is getting really nice. I feel like, maybe things will get better? Yes, they will, they have to.
These past 8 months (holy shit has it been 8 months?) have been really trying. This has been the hardest thing I've done in my life, which I think is part of the reason I stopped posting. Living in Korea, it's like living in Oz. Or taking acid. Or being stored in a glass jar. It's so fucking weird here sometimes. Actually, weird isn't the adjective. It's not weird anymore, because I'm used to it. It's normal. I'm even starting to automatically emulate little Korean mannerisms. I'll do that little "uhh" or "mmm" thing when I'm responding to someone. Or I'll reflexively nod/bow to older people. Holy shit. I'm becoming Korean.
But I'm not Korean. I get stared at everywhere. And the people who don't stare are usually the braver type who will scream HIII or HELLOOO to me on the street. HI STRANGER. Jesus. I know I'm white and tall and dress funny, but I'm also a person. Can I please feel normal, please? Pretty please? This is what I mean when I say I feel like I live in a glass jar. I'm under all kinds of scrutiny. I feel like the thinking goes: "Look at that waygook. What will he do next??" Like I'm some sort of endangered species. Which makes me feel all sorts of pressure, because I want to set a good example. I know there are plenty of foreigners who act like complete douches in this country. I want to be a counter-example. I also just want to be a good person. But that's hard to do when you're not allowed to feel normal.
Good rant, huh? There will probably be more.
Thursday, March 25, 2010
Wipe Away That Silicon Dust
What's that? I'm posting again? Yes, yes I am.
So it's been a grand total of 5 months since my last entry, and I don't really have a satisfying reason as to why. I guess, in truth, I just didn't feel like it.
Why? I don't know. I used to write a lot. But it's tapering off, I suppose. That need to say things in this way feels old and worn-out.
Maybe it'll come back. Maybe it won't. Maybe I'm just sick of the same old story.
I think I'll have the motivation to write about some Korean stuff. Let me collect my thoughts.
So it's been a grand total of 5 months since my last entry, and I don't really have a satisfying reason as to why. I guess, in truth, I just didn't feel like it.
Why? I don't know. I used to write a lot. But it's tapering off, I suppose. That need to say things in this way feels old and worn-out.
Maybe it'll come back. Maybe it won't. Maybe I'm just sick of the same old story.
I think I'll have the motivation to write about some Korean stuff. Let me collect my thoughts.
Thursday, October 22, 2009
A Glimpse
Today I realized how important this year-long stay will be.
I was sitting in one of my English teacher discussions. Everyday all the English teachers gather together and talk about well, whatever really. I listen for incorrect English, write it down, then go over it at the end of the session.
Today we were talking about stress. One of my co-teachers was describing how stressed she felt living in England for a month, owed mostly to her unfamiliarity of the culture and her general feelings of alienation. She then asked me whether I felt stressed living here, commenting that I looked stressed when I first got here.
I kind of gave a vague answer because, honestly, when it comes to stress, or any feeling for that matter, it's hard for me to decide what level I'm at (or maybe what level I should be at).
Which then brought me to a broad realization about myself: I am a stressed person. As an introvert I tend to keep my feelings hidden (even from myself), but in that moment it was clear as day: I'm stressed practically all the time now. I suppose it's owed to the fact that I'm in a strange-ass country where nothing is familiar. But I feel like, no, I've been stressed even before this. I've been one giant stress-ball for quite a while.
The last two years have sucked, majorly. I can acknowledge this without too much trouble. Some happy things have come and gone, but, that's just the thing, they're gone. And maybe that's why I'm stressed, I'm worried that things won't get better and that I'll always feel this way.
To get back on point, what I'm trying to say is my trip here in Korea is going to be life-changing important. Being in this country, by myself, with no support from the people I care about or the environment I'm familiar with, this place, this situation, it's an opportunity for me to grow. I know on some fundamental level that, when I fly back to the USA in August 2010, I will a different person. Not in the sense of personality or character, but different in the sense that I'll be more aware. I'll be more aware of what it takes to be happy, what it means to take risks for yourself, what is necessary to get the most out of life. The comfort zones and false securities are nowhere to be seen.
That's basically a lot of vague bullshit but goddamn is it hard to put this into words. All I know is, once I step off the plane and drink in the Bay Area again, it will be like waking up from a long, deep sleep. The perspective will be fresh again.
An-nyeung-hi-gye-se-yo for now.
I was sitting in one of my English teacher discussions. Everyday all the English teachers gather together and talk about well, whatever really. I listen for incorrect English, write it down, then go over it at the end of the session.
Today we were talking about stress. One of my co-teachers was describing how stressed she felt living in England for a month, owed mostly to her unfamiliarity of the culture and her general feelings of alienation. She then asked me whether I felt stressed living here, commenting that I looked stressed when I first got here.
I kind of gave a vague answer because, honestly, when it comes to stress, or any feeling for that matter, it's hard for me to decide what level I'm at (or maybe what level I should be at).
Which then brought me to a broad realization about myself: I am a stressed person. As an introvert I tend to keep my feelings hidden (even from myself), but in that moment it was clear as day: I'm stressed practically all the time now. I suppose it's owed to the fact that I'm in a strange-ass country where nothing is familiar. But I feel like, no, I've been stressed even before this. I've been one giant stress-ball for quite a while.
The last two years have sucked, majorly. I can acknowledge this without too much trouble. Some happy things have come and gone, but, that's just the thing, they're gone. And maybe that's why I'm stressed, I'm worried that things won't get better and that I'll always feel this way.
To get back on point, what I'm trying to say is my trip here in Korea is going to be life-changing important. Being in this country, by myself, with no support from the people I care about or the environment I'm familiar with, this place, this situation, it's an opportunity for me to grow. I know on some fundamental level that, when I fly back to the USA in August 2010, I will a different person. Not in the sense of personality or character, but different in the sense that I'll be more aware. I'll be more aware of what it takes to be happy, what it means to take risks for yourself, what is necessary to get the most out of life. The comfort zones and false securities are nowhere to be seen.
That's basically a lot of vague bullshit but goddamn is it hard to put this into words. All I know is, once I step off the plane and drink in the Bay Area again, it will be like waking up from a long, deep sleep. The perspective will be fresh again.
An-nyeung-hi-gye-se-yo for now.
Monday, October 19, 2009
Just Poastin
Well, there I go again, not updating. In all honesty there are times where I want to write something down but I don't have anything to write with, so the thought disappears.
I suppose this is more of a post promising that no, I'm not dead, and that, yes, I plan to update more. I have some pictures I'd like to share, but right now I'm a bit fried from all the Korean I studied tonight (on an empty stomach) so I'm taking the lazy route and saving it for later.
Speaking of which, I have four Korean classes a week now. Pretty hardcore by foreigner standards. From what I hear not many foreigners here make the effort to learn the language, which is a damn shame, yet understandable, considering English is basically the second language here.
My thoughts are scattered right now so I will be lame and say adieu. Err
An-nyeung-hi-gye-se-yo.
I suppose this is more of a post promising that no, I'm not dead, and that, yes, I plan to update more. I have some pictures I'd like to share, but right now I'm a bit fried from all the Korean I studied tonight (on an empty stomach) so I'm taking the lazy route and saving it for later.
Speaking of which, I have four Korean classes a week now. Pretty hardcore by foreigner standards. From what I hear not many foreigners here make the effort to learn the language, which is a damn shame, yet understandable, considering English is basically the second language here.
My thoughts are scattered right now so I will be lame and say adieu. Err
An-nyeung-hi-gye-se-yo.
Wednesday, October 7, 2009
My School
Picture post time!
No smoking? As if.
No student is this happy at any school.
Entrance to the school.
Map of the school.
Track and gym.
The main building.
This...thing? Outside the main entrance.
The main entrance. The sign says "No students" or something to that effect. Students have their own entrance. On the left wall are shoe cubbies; each teacher has one. You can't wear shoes inside the building, so you wear slippers.
A student entrance.
My desk is at the back of the room.
DISCIPRINE! They's in trouble so they gots to write stuff.
I'm not really sure what this is.
View of the city. We're actually on the outskirts.
Some students playing soccer.
Gym.
Way to the cafeteria.
Some benches.
Mechanics workshop.
Moar benches.
Old basketball courts.
A creek nearby.
Way to more buildings. There's a mountain behind the school.
No smoking? As if.
No student is this happy at any school.
Entrance to the school.
Map of the school.
Track and gym.
The main building.
This...thing? Outside the main entrance.
The main entrance. The sign says "No students" or something to that effect. Students have their own entrance. On the left wall are shoe cubbies; each teacher has one. You can't wear shoes inside the building, so you wear slippers.
A student entrance.
My desk is at the back of the room.
DISCIPRINE! They's in trouble so they gots to write stuff.
I'm not really sure what this is.
View of the city. We're actually on the outskirts.
Some students playing soccer.
Gym.
Way to the cafeteria.
Some benches.
Mechanics workshop.
Moar benches.
Old basketball courts.
A creek nearby.
Way to more buildings. There's a mountain behind the school.There's more to the school but these are the main sights. I've explored some of the mountain behind the school and it's pretty awesome. Lots of old stuff to find. I'll probably take some pics of that as well.
An-nyeong-hi-gye-se-yo for now.
An-nyeong-hi-gye-se-yo for now.
Sunday, October 4, 2009
Chusok Weekend
Chusok is Korea's Thanksgiving, but more traditional. Because of it everyone got a three day weekend. So my coworker invited me to his cabin in the mountains (near Jinju mountain) and, having no plans, I decided to give it a go.
It was a so-so weekend in a nutshell. The scenery was of course beautiful, lots and lots of green mountains, rice fields, rivers, temples...you can see it all in the pictures I uploaded. We stayed in my coworker's cabin next to the river. Pretty nice place, but extremely uncomfortable as there wasn't any bed. For the past three nights I've been sleeping on a hardwood floor with only some blankets and pillows. If it wasn't for the fact that my coworker likes to drink (and therefore I drink) I'd probably be even more sleep deprived.
I say the weekend was alright because, well, firstly, the sleep issue just put a damper on everything we did. I was tired the whole time because I could never get a full night's rest. That, and my coworker and his wife speak very little English, so half the time was spent trying to figure out what they were saying to me. It got frustrating after a while.
It was a nice gesture inviting me though. I got to see many historic and traditional things. I saw a really old village, apparently one of the oldest in Korea (because the Korean War never really reached so far south it remained intact). I saw some really old traditional schools. And I saw Cheonghak-dong (Azure Crane Village), which contains Samseong-gung (Three Sages Palace), a shrine dedicated to the myth of how Korea was created. This was all in Jirisan National Park.
My coworker is an interesting character; he insisted that I call him "hyung nim," which means "older brother." It's a bit weird, but I guess completely normal for Korea; friends call each other as if they were family. It's still a little off-putting though, because this guy barely knows me. He's taken me out once or twice for drinks, and I mean, it's nice and all, but it's just...weird. I don't know what to say to this guy. All we talk about is either:
a) how rich he is, no problem I'll pay for this, drink this soju, etc.
b) this food is good for your health
c) ___ is very very famous
d) you are very handsome
Dear Korea,
OK I fucking get it, I'm handsome.
I know this comes off as ungrateful, stuckup, or whatever you want to call it, but I hear this, quite literally, at least twice a day, and it's becoming a little annoying. And I guess it wouldn't bother me so much if it didn't seem like the sole basis of my relationship with this guy (not to sound gay or nothing). Seriously, this guy wines and dines me because...what? I'm white? American? New? Different? Handsome? He keeps saying I'm handsome.
He's being nice, and I would never say any of this to his face, or to anyone here really, but it irks me sometimes. Will this be the basis of all my relationships with Koreans here, my physical features? I guess now that I think about it, I don't know much Korean, so what other basis could there be?
I know I'm sounding like an asshole complaining about my looks but you get the point. To be honest it's not as big a deal as I'm making it out to be. I guess I just miss hanging out with people who hang out with me cause I'm me, not cause I'm a novelty. Then again I've only been here for a month and a half so maybe I'm just overanalyzing things. Wouldn't be the first time!
Time to sleep in an actual bed. It will be divine.
An-nyeong-hi-gye-se-yo for now.
It was a so-so weekend in a nutshell. The scenery was of course beautiful, lots and lots of green mountains, rice fields, rivers, temples...you can see it all in the pictures I uploaded. We stayed in my coworker's cabin next to the river. Pretty nice place, but extremely uncomfortable as there wasn't any bed. For the past three nights I've been sleeping on a hardwood floor with only some blankets and pillows. If it wasn't for the fact that my coworker likes to drink (and therefore I drink) I'd probably be even more sleep deprived.
I say the weekend was alright because, well, firstly, the sleep issue just put a damper on everything we did. I was tired the whole time because I could never get a full night's rest. That, and my coworker and his wife speak very little English, so half the time was spent trying to figure out what they were saying to me. It got frustrating after a while.
It was a nice gesture inviting me though. I got to see many historic and traditional things. I saw a really old village, apparently one of the oldest in Korea (because the Korean War never really reached so far south it remained intact). I saw some really old traditional schools. And I saw Cheonghak-dong (Azure Crane Village), which contains Samseong-gung (Three Sages Palace), a shrine dedicated to the myth of how Korea was created. This was all in Jirisan National Park.
My coworker is an interesting character; he insisted that I call him "hyung nim," which means "older brother." It's a bit weird, but I guess completely normal for Korea; friends call each other as if they were family. It's still a little off-putting though, because this guy barely knows me. He's taken me out once or twice for drinks, and I mean, it's nice and all, but it's just...weird. I don't know what to say to this guy. All we talk about is either:
a) how rich he is, no problem I'll pay for this, drink this soju, etc.
b) this food is good for your health
c) ___ is very very famous
d) you are very handsome
Dear Korea,
OK I fucking get it, I'm handsome.
I know this comes off as ungrateful, stuckup, or whatever you want to call it, but I hear this, quite literally, at least twice a day, and it's becoming a little annoying. And I guess it wouldn't bother me so much if it didn't seem like the sole basis of my relationship with this guy (not to sound gay or nothing). Seriously, this guy wines and dines me because...what? I'm white? American? New? Different? Handsome? He keeps saying I'm handsome.
He's being nice, and I would never say any of this to his face, or to anyone here really, but it irks me sometimes. Will this be the basis of all my relationships with Koreans here, my physical features? I guess now that I think about it, I don't know much Korean, so what other basis could there be?
I know I'm sounding like an asshole complaining about my looks but you get the point. To be honest it's not as big a deal as I'm making it out to be. I guess I just miss hanging out with people who hang out with me cause I'm me, not cause I'm a novelty. Then again I've only been here for a month and a half so maybe I'm just overanalyzing things. Wouldn't be the first time!
Time to sleep in an actual bed. It will be divine.
An-nyeong-hi-gye-se-yo for now.
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