A Glimpse

Today I realized how important this year-long stay will be.

I was sitting in one of my English teacher discussions. Everyday all the English teachers gather together and talk about well, whatever really. I listen for incorrect English, write it down, then go over it at the end of the session.

Today we were talking about stress. One of my co-teachers was describing how stressed she felt living in England for a month, owed mostly to her unfamiliarity of the culture and her general feelings of alienation. She then asked me whether I felt stressed living here, commenting that I looked stressed when I first got here.

I kind of gave a vague answer because, honestly, when it comes to stress, or any feeling for that matter, it's hard for me to decide what level I'm at (or maybe what level I should be at).

Which then brought me to a broad realization about myself: I am a stressed person. As an introvert I tend to keep my feelings hidden (even from myself), but in that moment it was clear as day: I'm stressed practically all the time now. I suppose it's owed to the fact that I'm in a strange-ass country where nothing is familiar. But I feel like, no, I've been stressed even before this. I've been one giant stress-ball for quite a while.

The last two years have sucked, majorly. I can acknowledge this without too much trouble. Some happy things have come and gone, but, that's just the thing, they're gone. And maybe that's why I'm stressed, I'm worried that things won't get better and that I'll always feel this way.

To get back on point, what I'm trying to say is my trip here in Korea is going to be life-changing important. Being in this country, by myself, with no support from the people I care about or the environment I'm familiar with, this place, this situation, it's an opportunity for me to grow. I know on some fundamental level that, when I fly back to the USA in August 2010, I will a different person. Not in the sense of personality or character, but different in the sense that I'll be more aware. I'll be more aware of what it takes to be happy, what it means to take risks for yourself, what is necessary to get the most out of life. The comfort zones and false securities are nowhere to be seen.

That's basically a lot of vague bullshit but goddamn is it hard to put this into words. All I know is, once I step off the plane and drink in the Bay Area again, it will be like waking up from a long, deep sleep. The perspective will be fresh again.

An-nyeung-hi-gye-se-yo for now.

Just Poastin

Well, there I go again, not updating. In all honesty there are times where I want to write something down but I don't have anything to write with, so the thought disappears.

I suppose this is more of a post promising that no, I'm not dead, and that, yes, I plan to update more. I have some pictures I'd like to share, but right now I'm a bit fried from all the Korean I studied tonight (on an empty stomach) so I'm taking the lazy route and saving it for later.

Speaking of which, I have four Korean classes a week now. Pretty hardcore by foreigner standards. From what I hear not many foreigners here make the effort to learn the language, which is a damn shame, yet understandable, considering English is basically the second language here.

My thoughts are scattered right now so I will be lame and say adieu. Err

An-nyeung-hi-gye-se-yo.

My School

Picture post time!

No smoking? As if.

No student is this happy at any school.

Entrance to the school.


Map of the school.

Track and gym.

The main building.
This...thing? Outside the main entrance.

The main entrance. The sign says "No students" or something to that effect. Students have their own entrance. On the left wall are shoe cubbies; each teacher has one. You can't wear shoes inside the building, so you wear slippers.

A student entrance.

My desk is at the back of the room.

DISCIPRINE! They's in trouble so they gots to write stuff.

I'm not really sure what this is.

View of the city. We're actually on the outskirts.

Some students playing soccer.

Gym.

Way to the cafeteria.

Some benches.

Mechanics workshop.

Moar benches.

Old basketball courts.

A creek nearby.

Way to more buildings. There's a mountain behind the school.

There's more to the school but these are the main sights. I've explored some of the mountain behind the school and it's pretty awesome. Lots of old stuff to find. I'll probably take some pics of that as well.

An-nyeong-hi-gye-se-yo for now.

Chusok Weekend

Chusok is Korea's Thanksgiving, but more traditional. Because of it everyone got a three day weekend. So my coworker invited me to his cabin in the mountains (near Jinju mountain) and, having no plans, I decided to give it a go.

It was a so-so weekend in a nutshell. The scenery was of course beautiful, lots and lots of green mountains, rice fields, rivers, temples...you can see it all in the pictures I uploaded. We stayed in my coworker's cabin next to the river. Pretty nice place, but extremely uncomfortable as there wasn't any bed. For the past three nights I've been sleeping on a hardwood floor with only some blankets and pillows. If it wasn't for the fact that my coworker likes to drink (and therefore I drink) I'd probably be even more sleep deprived.

I say the weekend was alright because, well, firstly, the sleep issue just put a damper on everything we did. I was tired the whole time because I could never get a full night's rest. That, and my coworker and his wife speak very little English, so half the time was spent trying to figure out what they were saying to me. It got frustrating after a while.

It was a nice gesture inviting me though. I got to see many historic and traditional things. I saw a really old village, apparently one of the oldest in Korea (because the Korean War never really reached so far south it remained intact). I saw some really old traditional schools. And I saw Cheonghak-dong (Azure Crane Village), which contains Samseong-gung (Three Sages Palace), a shrine dedicated to the myth of how Korea was created. This was all in Jirisan National Park.

My coworker is an interesting character; he insisted that I call him "hyung nim," which means "older brother." It's a bit weird, but I guess completely normal for Korea; friends call each other as if they were family. It's still a little off-putting though, because this guy barely knows me. He's taken me out once or twice for drinks, and I mean, it's nice and all, but it's just...weird. I don't know what to say to this guy. All we talk about is either:

a) how rich he is, no problem I'll pay for this, drink this soju, etc.
b) this food is good for your health
c) ___ is very very famous
d) you are very handsome

Dear Korea,

OK I fucking get it, I'm handsome.

I know this comes off as ungrateful, stuckup, or whatever you want to call it, but I hear this, quite literally, at least twice a day, and it's becoming a little annoying. And I guess it wouldn't bother me so much if it didn't seem like the sole basis of my relationship with this guy (not to sound gay or nothing). Seriously, this guy wines and dines me because...what? I'm white? American? New? Different? Handsome? He keeps saying I'm handsome.

He's being nice, and I would never say any of this to his face, or to anyone here really, but it irks me sometimes. Will this be the basis of all my relationships with Koreans here, my physical features? I guess now that I think about it, I don't know much Korean, so what other basis could there be?

I know I'm sounding like an asshole complaining about my looks but you get the point. To be honest it's not as big a deal as I'm making it out to be. I guess I just miss hanging out with people who hang out with me cause I'm me, not cause I'm a novelty. Then again I've only been here for a month and a half so maybe I'm just overanalyzing things. Wouldn't be the first time!

Time to sleep in an actual bed. It will be divine.

An-nyeong-hi-gye-se-yo for now.